Immediately he spoke to them and said, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened. Mark 6:48b-52
The disciples have had a long day. The original plan to go somewhere quiet and rest with Jesus is turned upside down when the crowd of 5,000 finds them. Instead of resting, Jesus spends the day teaching those who have gathered.
When it is time to eat, the disciples watch as Jesus feeds the crowds from a meager portion of five loaves and two fish. They are there when 12 baskets of leftovers are gathered. They have front row seats to the power and authority of Jesus Christ on display.
Now it is late at night. The disciples have left Jesus behind and are heading across the lake. As they struggle to row the boat into the wind, Jesus joins them in a most unconventional way; he walks out onto the water.
When the disciples see him they are terrified (v. 50). The King James Version says they were "troubled."
I head to my concordance for some more information:
troubled - from the greek tarasso - to stir or agitate (roil water)
Next I head to the dictionary:
roil - to make turbid by stirring up the sediment or dregs of; to stir up (see disturb, disorder)
turbid - thick or opaque with or as if with roiled sediment; deficient in clarity or purity; characterized by or producing obscurity (as of mind or emotions)
So the disciples encounter with Jesus does not frighten them so much as it disturbs them. What might have seemed clear to them earlier, about Jesus, no longer applies. It was as Jesus took a stick and reaching down deep into the clear water of their hearts, stirred up all the sediment and dregs that had settled on the bottom. What once seemed clear is now muddy.
The disciples are back to square one. Who is this man?
Jesus climbs into the boat and the wind dies down. According to verse 51, the disciples are "completely amazed" (NIV) or "sore amazed" (KJV).
Back to my concordance again:
sore - from the greek lian - much, exceedingly, great
amazed - from the greek existemi - to put (stand) out of wits
The disciples were exceedingly out of their wits. They are temporarily insane over this encounter with Jesus the Christ. Why?
"Because their hearts were hardened." v. 52
They did not get what they were supposed to get from the miracle of the loaves because their hearts were hard. They may have thought they understood. They may have acted like they understood. But when Jesus comes to them on the water their reactions reveal the true condition of their hearts.
Sooner or later it happens to all of us. We think we understand. We act like it makes sense. But then Jesus comes walking up to us, meeting us in the most unexpected way and our reaction betrays us. Our hearts are stirred up. Dregs are revealed. We are disturbed and do not understand.
And we realize; we only thought we knew him.
I think the best part of this story is what happens after their hardened hearts are revealed. Jesus gets in the boat with them. He journeys with them across the lake to the other side. He does not abandon them for their lack of understanding. He invites them to stay by his side. He continues teaching them. He continues explaining when they don't understand. He loves them through it all.
I am thinking of those moments when the sediment of my heart has been stirred up by the Savior. I am thinking of the embarrassment that comes when the dregs are exposed and I realize I only thought I knew him.
I am grateful that after He sheds His light on those places in me, He does not turn away.
Thank you, Jesus, for the grace and mercy which covers my ugly, muddy heart. Thank you for leading me to understanding. And thank you, for Your love which led You to the cross on my behalf. I love you.
"Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
Psalm 51:10
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