Worth It

"Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands." Deuteronomy 8:2

Desert time.
A time for humbling.
A time for testing.
A time for knowing what is in my heart.
A time for seeing whether or not I will keep His commands.

It hasn't been 40 years but it has been almost two. A desert time of waiting, announced in advance by the Spirit; April 2008-April 2010. In the last 23 months, I have been humbled and tested; blessed and grieved as the contents of my heart have been exposed; victorious and defeated (at least, temporarily) when it comes to keeping His commands.

It is fitting that the last portion of my desert time coincides with Lent. God the Father has turned my eyes towards God the Son. I am framing the lessons I have learned and continue to learn through the teachings of the Spirit by studying Jesus.

How did he handle humbling?
How did he handle testing?
The contents of his heart were beyond reproach but how did he respond when he saw the contents of the hearts of the men and women around him?
How did he follow God's commands?

There is only one Jesus. And no matter how hard I try, I will never live up to the standards he set while he walked this earth. I'm learning to be okay with that mostly because I have come to accept that there is only one me.

Jesus knows me. Were he standing before me now I'm convinced that he would speak to me truthfully about the state of my heart; no sugar coating for him. It would be worth it. It is worth it to hear the truth spoken in love...to be exposed by the Light...in order to know the love of Jesus.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2