Striving For Both

"My soul finds rest in God alone;

my salvation comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;

he is my fortress, I will never be shaken."

Psalm 62:1-2

Jesus knew the truth of the psalmist's words in Psalm 62:1-2. He never looked to anyone else but God to fulfill his soul's needs. Rest, salvation, rock, fortress...Jesus knew God was all this and more.

Did Jesus feel complete during the years that he walked this earth? Did he feel whole? Was he content? Or, did his soul yearn for the day when he would, once again, be reunited with the Father in heaven?

I am looking at the paragraph I just wrote and realize it is a reflection of my own struggle more than a reflection of Christ's life. I want Christ's life to be one or the other because that is how I have always measure mine. I am either content in God or I'm not.

But what happens, if instead of being one or the other, I strive for both?

What if I follow His lead, and go wherever it takes me and call that enough? What if I rest in Him and lean on Him for strength and protection, along the way? What if I find satisfaction and joy in each day's journey?

And...

What if I quit beating myself up over this place inside of me that is restless and empty and screams to be filled? What if I accept that this is a part of being His...this part of myself that can't get close enough to Him to ever be satisfied? What if I accept that I'm not supposed to be fully satisfied until I see Him face-to-face?

"My soul finds rest in God alone."

Satisfied and dissatisfied; from now on, I'm striving for both.