Do As I Say...

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." --Psalm 56:8 (NLT)

My One Year Bible has been taking me through the ups and downs of King David's life. He is a study in contrasts. He was a man after God's own heart; a brave warrior, a gifted songwriter. But when it came to parenting, he failed miserably.

2 Samuel 11 & 12
When David made the decision to sleep with Bathsheba, I'm sure he never stopped to think about the consequences of his actions...a pregnant mistress, an uncooperative but honorable man, the murder of a good soldier, the death of his infant son, and an angry God.

What is disturbing to me is how David's actions with Bathsheba set the stage for the drama that takes place amongst David's other children. Step-brothers, Amnon and Absolom, are young men who lead a life of privilege. They may have overheard their father, the king, talk about the way people were to be treated. It appears that he forgot to have a father-son talk that included the words, "Do as I say and not as I do."

2 Samuel 13
So when David's son, Amnon, decides he is in love with Absolom's sister, Tamar (Amnon's half-sister), he doesn't ignore his feelings. He acts on them. He is the king's son, after all.

Amnon has the audacity to involve the king.

"Please let my sister come and cook my favorite dish..." (v. 6)

David agrees and sends Tamar to Amnon's home. Long story-short, Tamar is raped and thrown out on the doorstep as a ruined woman.

Scripture says that King David was angry. I don't know if he said anything. I don't know if he did anything. All I know is that David was angry. But angry with whom?
Surely he was angry at Amnon.
Was he angry with Tamar?
Or was he angry with himself?

He'd been duped. He was played the fool by his own kid. Ouch!

Two years pass. For two years, Absolom harbors a hatred for Amnon that goes unspoken. For two years he thinks about avenging his sister's reputation and his family's honor. For two years, he hates and he plots and he waits for the right opportunity.

He needs help with his plan so who does he turn to? His dad, of course.

"Well, then, if you can't come, how about sending my brother, Amnon with us?" (v. 26)

David agrees and sends Amnon to the feast. Absolom orders his men to murder Amnon and then flees to safety in a different city.

Once again, David is played the fool by one of his children. Once again, David unknowingly sends one child into harm's way which just so happens to be his own flesh and blood. For days afterward, King David weeps bitterly and mourns for his dead son and for the one who has run away. Heavy sigh.

David wept for his sons.

But what about Tamar, his daughter?

Who wept for her?

Abba,
I am convinced that You weep over the selfish choices that we, Your children, make on this earth. Forgive me for the grief I have caused You over the years. Forgive us for our sinful ways. And Lord? Tell Tamar I am sorry. In Jesus' holy name, Amen.