Deviating From God's Plan

“How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!” --Hebrews 9:14 (NIV)

For the last several days, I have been reading about King Saul and his ups and downs as ruler of Israel. (See 1 Samuel 9 – 16) In chapter 15, Saul is commanded, by God, to completely destroy the entire Amalekite nation; including men, women, children, and livestock.

Saul sets out with an army of 210,000 men. They slaughter the Amalekites but end up sparing the life of Agag, the Amalekite king, and keeping the best of the livestock. In other words, Saul decided to improve on God’s orders.

The different responses to Saul’s disobedience are marked. God regrets having ever made Saul king (v. 10). Samuel, the prophet, mourns Saul’s actions (v. 11). And, Saul, when he is called on the carpet, doesn’t think he did anything wrong (vs. 13, 20)!!

The consequences are serious. Even after Saul confesses his sin (sort of) there is no turning back. God yanks the kingdom of Israel from Saul and gives it to someone else. The whole story disturbs me to no end.

Why, since God knew Saul was going to screw up, did He make Saul king?
Why didn’t Saul show the remorse he should have once his sin was revealed?
Why did Saul feel the need to deviate from God’s plan?

Deviating from God’s plan...

The reason this story irritates me so much is because I have been in Saul’s shoes. I, too, have been given orders to follow. And, just like Saul, I have been known to modify them; sometimes because they didn’t make sense to me, sometimes because to obey would cause me great discomfort, and other times, because I was concerned about what people might think. I can recall one such instance where all three reasons came into play.

I was sitting in the Sanctuary waiting to meet someone for a preset prayer time. While I waited, I asked the Lord if there was any Scripture I was to claim on this individual's behalf. God directed me to something in Psalms. I read the verses and they all made sense to me, except for one small phrase that came across very strongly and stuck out in a way that made me extremely uncomfortable.

Minutes later, I joined a few others and we met and prayed for the individual in question. When it was my turn to pray, I began to dutifully read the verses from the Psalm aloud. But when I got to the words that made me skittish, I left them out. Our short time of prayer came to a close and each of us left to do other things.

I was certain that no one in the room had any idea that I had left out part of a verse. But I knew. More importantly, God knew.

The Holy Spirit convicted me, almost immediately. I responded with defensiveness. Nobody knows I left anything out. If I had read all of the words surely somebody would have been tripped up by them…they were harsh and strong. My job as a prayer partner is to help the individual feel God’s peace and strength, right? Speaking words that didn’t make sense would only stir their spirit up, right? Who am I, after all, to deliver strong words without any warning? The more I tried to justify my actions, the more I was convicted of my sin. I had edited God’s Word.

Things didn’t get better until I finally quit defending my right to deviate from God’s plan and owned up to my wrong doing. The next day, I found myself calling the individual who I had prayed for and asked if I could have a few minutes of their time.

Once there, I confessed to leaving the words out. I asked for forgiveness. I asked if I could pray, again, only this time speaking all of the words that I had been given to say. The individual kindly received me but I’m sure they were puzzled by the entire thing. At that point, it didn’t matter. My own misery at being out of right relationship with God outweighed any embarrassment I had been concerned about the day before. It was an eye opening experience for me.

Looking at my own episodes of deviating from God’s plan and comparing them to Saul’s adventures fills me with gratitude. Not because I think Saul screwed up in a bigger way than I have or because I am living my life better than him. In God’s eyes, sin is sin. We are equally guilty of disobeying God.

My gratitude comes from knowing Jesus. Saul was born in a time before Jesus Christ walked the earth. Even as the LORD’s anointed, Saul was condemned to sin. He died out of relationship with God. And that is where we are different. What sets me apart?

The conviction of the Holy Spirit. The strong yet subtle voice that whispers to me whenever I stray from the plan.
The blood of Jesus. My sins (all of them) have been paid for by the death and resurrection of my Savior. I am redeemed.
The forgiveness of the Father. Because He sees me through the blood of His precious Son, I am clean in His eyes.

Father,
Thank You for preserving Your Word through the ages. Thank You for the details of the lives of men and women, who walked with You, disobeyed You, loved You, and rebelled from Your ways. Forgive me for those times when I am quick to dismiss the underlying lessons within the pages of Your Word. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear how it applies to me. Thank you, Jesus for the gift of life. Thank you for dying on the cross and carrying my sins to the grave. Thank you for sitting at God’s right hand, interceding, even now, on my behalf. Show me how to live my life in a way that brings You glory. Without You, Lord, I am nothing but a shell of who You have called me to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.