“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ,
that each one may receive what is due him for the things
done while in the body, whether good or bad.”
-- 2 Corinthians 5:10
For the last several weeks, I have been in a place of desert dryness, brittle prayers, and a hard heart. This is not to be confused with the spiritual desert that God sometimes calls us to in order to bring about a deeper faith. No, I traveled to this barren place of my own free will. It is a place I know well; a place I go to hide, to escape, to ignore the call of God.
When I am in this spiritual state, it is as if I mentally stretch out my arm and say, “You may come this close but no farther.” Consider the absurdity of a 5’2” woman, puny arm straight out and palm facing forward, telling Almighty God to stay back! Of course, I do not possess the strength to control God. I can, however, choose to withhold myself from Him.
I’ve been pondering this choice of keeping God at arm’s length. Why do I willingly walk away from fellowship with the Lord to miserably wander alone in the desert? A couple of things come to mind: weariness of carrying my cross, pride when I think I’ve sacrificed enough, fear of what lies ahead, laziness. When I focus on myself and my circumstances, it becomes easier to justify a side trip. Before I know it, I am wasting time in old, familiar territory.
During my most recent trip to the desert, God used his word to speak to my wayward heart. According to 2 Corinthians 5:10, someday I will stand before Christ and receive what I’m due for the things I have done, in this life, whether good or bad. Well, what about the things that I refused to do? What about the time I spent avoiding God in the desert?
The truth is that I do not want to stand in front of my Savior, in my current faith condition, knowing that this is all I was willing to give him. He has called me to journey with him to experience a life of deep faith and service. How can I look him in the eye, aware of the limitations I have put on my growth because I refused to cooperate? In light of the truth of God’s Word, hiding is pointless. It is time to pack my bags and head home.
Father,
You are my Creator. You know the depths of my heart. You know what is best for me and, yet, You let me choose for myself, even when I choose badly. Forgive me for keeping You at arm’s length; for preferring my desert over your plans for my life. Thank You for always welcoming me back into relationship with You. Teach me how to trust You and stay true to the path You have planned for me. May I live my life in a way that shows gratitude for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and brings glory and honor to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
-- 2 Corinthians 5:10
For the last several weeks, I have been in a place of desert dryness, brittle prayers, and a hard heart. This is not to be confused with the spiritual desert that God sometimes calls us to in order to bring about a deeper faith. No, I traveled to this barren place of my own free will. It is a place I know well; a place I go to hide, to escape, to ignore the call of God.
When I am in this spiritual state, it is as if I mentally stretch out my arm and say, “You may come this close but no farther.” Consider the absurdity of a 5’2” woman, puny arm straight out and palm facing forward, telling Almighty God to stay back! Of course, I do not possess the strength to control God. I can, however, choose to withhold myself from Him.
I’ve been pondering this choice of keeping God at arm’s length. Why do I willingly walk away from fellowship with the Lord to miserably wander alone in the desert? A couple of things come to mind: weariness of carrying my cross, pride when I think I’ve sacrificed enough, fear of what lies ahead, laziness. When I focus on myself and my circumstances, it becomes easier to justify a side trip. Before I know it, I am wasting time in old, familiar territory.
During my most recent trip to the desert, God used his word to speak to my wayward heart. According to 2 Corinthians 5:10, someday I will stand before Christ and receive what I’m due for the things I have done, in this life, whether good or bad. Well, what about the things that I refused to do? What about the time I spent avoiding God in the desert?
The truth is that I do not want to stand in front of my Savior, in my current faith condition, knowing that this is all I was willing to give him. He has called me to journey with him to experience a life of deep faith and service. How can I look him in the eye, aware of the limitations I have put on my growth because I refused to cooperate? In light of the truth of God’s Word, hiding is pointless. It is time to pack my bags and head home.
Father,
You are my Creator. You know the depths of my heart. You know what is best for me and, yet, You let me choose for myself, even when I choose badly. Forgive me for keeping You at arm’s length; for preferring my desert over your plans for my life. Thank You for always welcoming me back into relationship with You. Teach me how to trust You and stay true to the path You have planned for me. May I live my life in a way that shows gratitude for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and brings glory and honor to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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